Story Time: My Comical Matatu Ride
Passengers in a matatu/photo courtesy/
With the emergence of technology, we are undoubtedly used to drives where everybody minds their business. Probably one passenger is busy fondling their phone, another is on a call, one is writing a long message to whoever has wronged them or smothered them with love while another is just leaning on the chair ready for a sweet travel nap.
My Matatu drive on Sunday night at around 8:20p.m. from Cabanas junction to Donholm was however different. First the vehicles coming our way were full to the brim. It was a struggle getting an empty seat and it remained a struggle among the hundreds who had lined along the road hoping to get home whenever a vehicle stopped.
Finally , I managed to get one. Inside this bus we had one well built Luo man wearing the full regalia of ego and another Typical Meru man with deep Mother tongue accent.The rest of us could be described as typical Kenyans. Those ready to laugh and create fun out of even the saddest moments or ready to give support when one genuinely needs it.
So the Luo Man amidst the huge struggle to get a vehicle home, got lucky to get a free seat in the vehicle I boarded. On his face, I could read a lot of worry and discomfort. What was really up with this handsome gentleman? Could it be that he lost some assets on these harsh streets of Nairobi? Did he just forget one of his important documents in office?
Yes, I say office because of his mode of dressing. You can never convince me that this man in a hot suit work somewhere under a tree. I mean it is possible but why don a suit in such an environment.
Questions kept raging in my mind but I could not afford to ask because I knew the awkward look and hefty conclusions my fellow passengers could jump into.
After a five minute drive, the Luo Man broke his silence.
“We Konda Niaje”
At this point I knew my questions would get an answer so i got more attentive.
“Nipee number ya M-PESA nikulipe. Simu yangu inazima, iko one percent”
“Hii gari hatuchukui MPESA. Mbona hukuuliza huko chini kabla upande gari?” conductor answered
“Eti nini? Niulise? Saa hii usiku? Hiyo siwesi bwana” the Luo man fired back as the whole bus burst into laughter.
“Utashuka bro. We dere simamisha gari hapo mbele tushukishe huyu jamaa…Mtu anafaa aulize akiwa chini si kupanda ndio unisumbue na mambo ya MPESA halafu ushuke ureverse. Hii Nairobi tunawajua” the conductor said
“Kama tunasuka na wewe ni sawa. Eti ningeuliza na hapo chini, halafu nitoe gari wapi…watu si wajinga bwana” the luo man said as the laughter continued
Within no minutes, the driver had stopped the matatu by the roadside ready to eject our brother who had no cash.
“Sisuki bwana. Ama tusimame hapa hadi Kesho. Unataka nisuke halafu nitoe gari wapi saa hii. Ungeshanipea number juu simu ikizima mi bora nimefikaa Donii”
At this point the Meru man came to his fellow’s rescue.
“We mbwana unatupotenzea wakati. Patia huyo jamaa number yako aweke pesa, si pesa ndio unataka? Unamshukisha aende wapi saa hii?”
The now charged passengers rose to support the two men.
“Wewe mnatupotezea masaa, peana number huyo jamaa aweke pesa… mnataka ashuke aende wapi? Ama tushuke wote na mturudishie pesa zetu”
The conductor had to bow to pressure. He gave out a number and our brother from the lakeside was able to pay his fare.
Thinking everything had cooled down, he again after long silence spoke up.
“Bro hebu niambie sasa, eti ulikuwa unasema nisuke?” he posed as people broke into a huge laughter.
“Ningekaa tu nifike Donii na niende zangu, singesuka mimi”
It was a moment of interaction between passengers discussing what had transpired till we got to our destination.
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